Monday, May 11, 2015

Friendships are hard work

My good book blogger friend Celine wrote a blog post last Wednesday that made me think. She mentions that keeping friendships alive after high school is work and sometimes it doesn't work. One line really stood out to me:

You know that people say high school sucks, and that your time at university is going to be the best time of your life? Well, those people are wrong, at least in my case.

Celine, don't worry, they are wrong in my case as well. 

I graduated high school almost 11 years ago (dang, time flies). I had an amazing time in school. In Austria we have a group of people that form a class and we stay together during all of our lessons. We have a fixed schedule and not a course system like we all know from American TV-series. This enables students to form a close group of friends and helps them feel like a community. We were a great class. Even today, 11 years after graduating high school, almost all of the teachers in my old school know who we were. We were pretty legendary! We did a lot of stupid things but we always stuck together like glue and no teacher or another class was able to go against us. I'm pretty sure we were not easy but a lovely bunch and great fun for teachers if we liked them (and we did like almost all of them).

During school I wove strong bonds with people I still call may friends - some closer than others but still...

I went off to university after graduation but stayed in the same city since Vienna is my home and I never dreamed about living somewhere else. I first started a course in economics which wasn't my cup of tea at all and which I dropped out of after 3ish semesters. I am now doing my teacher training in English and Geographie which I really like and enjoy. Of course, the courses I have to take are not really easy and the topics not always interesting but overall I know why I'm doing it and I cannot wait to teach students.

But did I find friends? Not really!

I had some people I took courses with, some people I passed at campus I knew by sight but no real friends. Neither at the English nor at the Geographie department. English majors are all pretty focused and a bit selfish when it comes to sharing notes or knowledge - not cool people, not cool!

I did find one of my best friends via a uni course but we basically clicked years after she left uni. We are now pretty close but all in all I can say she's the only real friend I found at uni.

What did happen to my friends from high school? Well, most of them are still living in Vienna and we still see each other from time to time but my best friend after graduation and the girl who asked me to be her maid of honour at her wedding got a baby girl almost 3 years ago and we hardly see each other (I would say 10 times max in the last 3 years). I miss her and when we see each other it is still like old times, which makes it even sadder. Her husband, a dear friend of mine, almost dropped of the earth for me (I think the boys in our group see him more often but I honestly don't know). We all got busy with life, jobs, family, trying to figure out what we want out of life, etc.

I know that there are a handfull of friends I can count on if I ever need them real bad and this has been tested. I have some great friends, some friends, some acquaintances, some people I used to call my friends but sadly don't see anymore and maybe two people I fell out with but none of them are people I talk to daily or see at least once a week.

I would never say my life is lonely because I'm also busy with living my life and I tend to see my friends for fun times in between but I never had a BFF or a really good girl-friend or a friendship you see in films or on TV but that's okay. I have friends, I know a lot of people through blogging and I know that there are some I can count on if I need them in this group too.

I just wanted to say, maintaining friendships is hard and sometimes, as much as it hurts, impossible but we, as book lovers and Twitter addicts, are never alone and there's always someone providing a virtual hug and has a shoulder to cry on. I am really glad to be part of such an amazing world-wide group of like-minded book lovers.

Don't forget to check out Celine's two amazing blogs Nyx Book Reviews and Irresponsible Cactus.

1 comment:

  1. My high school class was very close as well (at least, a big part of it). It really did feel like a community for me as well.

    Maintaining friendships definitely is hard. Looks like we both learnt that the hard way.

    What I miss the most is having people to just hang out with. Friends you can ask to go to the cinema with, and that don't need you to plan in a time slot two months in advance.

    At least we have a great community of book lovers, and I'm glad to have met you, Karin ^^