Tuesday, May 26, 2015

A different kind of heartbreak

I'm not a mum (yet) and since I am an only child, I will never be a real aunt. Yes, I know that there is the possibility that I will marry a nice guy who has siblings but I won't have any nieces or nephews from my side of the family. But that's actually not what I wanted to talk about today. Maybe one day I'll phantasize about future men in my life with you but not today...

Focus, Karin!

Over the last 3 years I quite often mentioned the little baby boy of a good friend of mine. He was the first baby born in my big group of friends and we spent a lot of time together. We had long walks around campus when he was a baby and his parents were at a lecture, we spent hours at a playground the last two years when his parents were at lectures, he was the only guy I slow danced with at his parents' wedding (he was 2 years at that time), we did many puzzles and I got explained many books over the last three years. He will forever be my baby bear and he's so special to me. Honestly I love him as much as if I were his aunt.

Over the last months I was pretty busy, my friend got another boy so he's a big brother now and since he started kindergarden meeting was a lot more difficult and he got sick a lot - hello, germs. So we didn't see each other a lot and the last time I had to cancel on the day we were suppose to meet. I'm still sorry about that by the way.

I recently sent an e-mail to my friend asking her how they were doing and if her big boy still remembers me and she answered: "He was so sad when you had to cancel last time because I promised him in the morning that you would pick him up from kindergarden with me in the afternoon and since that day he regularly asks if you're coming today to pick him up. So I'm pretty sure he remembers you just fine."

I never ever knew how true heartbreak felt until this minute. I had to fight back tears and had real difficulties getting my sh*t together. He's my little baby bear and I haven't seen him in far too long.

Just don't forget to see your friends and their kids (if you are part of their lives - which I hope you all are) because you are an important part in their lives and they miss you. Time flies for us but not for them and I can only promise that I won't ever let so much time pass between spending time with all my little bears I am blessed enough to know.

Wow, that got corny pretty quick but this e-mail really hit me hard and I just had to pour my heart out.

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